tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post2284360271603805637..comments2023-09-23T12:13:10.019+00:00Comments on December Quinn, Erotic Romance<br>Stacia Kane, Sexy Urban Fantasy: Scene Crit 4Staciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-2394303154410058332008-09-12T15:58:00.000+00:002008-09-12T15:58:00.000+00:00Truly, the best one yet. I found this piece combin...Truly, the best one yet. I found this piece combining all the ingredients in the posts December has written of before. Only one phrase gave me pause 'sent her arms'.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-35851661270065780432008-09-11T21:19:00.000+00:002008-09-11T21:19:00.000+00:00This made me pretty hot, although I thought the na...This made me pretty hot, although I thought the narrative could be tightened. I also thought the repeated use of the word "clit" was a bit jarring--not sure why, but clitoris would be better, IMO. I'm also not in love with the term "finish". <BR/><BR/>And the dialogue in places feels stilted--I <I>think</I> because there are no contractions.<BR/><BR/>I can guess why she does what she does--she seems like a bit of a control freak, and doesn't want to give him power over her pleasure--especially when he already seems to have power over everything else in her life.<BR/><BR/>There were some bits of this that I thought were quite deft, but others where editing seems to have led to things being left out: <BR/><BR/><I>She could not imagine being married to this man, forced to endure the fumbling teases of his mouth everywhere but on her.</I> On her what?<BR/><BR/>Still, I'm feeling this is not quite ready, but I'm kind of at a loss as to what's missing.kirsten saellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778076783406073225noreply@blogger.com