tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post2937240884249896929..comments2023-09-23T12:13:10.019+00:00Comments on December Quinn, Erotic Romance<br>Stacia Kane, Sexy Urban Fantasy: How much is too much?Staciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-65064543392119612432008-07-08T19:30:00.000+00:002008-07-08T19:30:00.000+00:00It seems there are a few ways to take it. 1) The r...It seems there are a few ways to take it. 1) The reader is really into a certain type of sex, i.e., he believes in reciprocation, loves scenes with bjs, etc. That isn't a terribly useful reaction to you as a writer. You can't cater to everyone's preconceived notions of hot sex. But, 2) the person thought the heroine was not displaying real, believable sexual desire for the hero; that the scene wasn't mutual, but instead just about her. With the #2 option, there's a more legit emotional reaction to the scene which just manifested in a "more bjs" comment.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-39848066622704610772008-07-08T14:46:00.000+00:002008-07-08T14:46:00.000+00:00thx dee, just proves how good your soul really is ...thx dee, just proves how good your soul really is :)laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-42820654649855849222008-07-08T11:30:00.000+00:002008-07-08T11:30:00.000+00:00Oh, and the spoiler relates to the second Demons b...Oh, and the spoiler relates to the second Demons book. So you can come back and read it after the first if you want. :-) It really is only a very minor spoiler.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-17413657138282934632008-07-08T11:20:00.000+00:002008-07-08T11:20:00.000+00:00Lol, Laughingwolf, I know it's not my fault, but I...Lol, Laughingwolf, I know it's not my fault, but I still feel bad.<BR/><BR/>And yeah...tbh, I think one of the things that keeps me from writing such a scene is the knowledge (thankfully not firsthand) of what a HUGE emotional/physical impact that has. My planned attempted is going to be earth-shattering enough. I really don't have a strong desire to explore all the ins and outs like that, and anything less would be shortchanging. Maybe that's wrong of me but it's just not a place I want to go. I do have a character who was seriously abused as a child but that's in the past; it's been dealt with as much as it can be.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Right Michele! I hate to call it a pointless activity, because it's not, but there is a lack of immediacy with it at times. <BR/><BR/>And yeah, you and Written both--the constant discussion about fairness and who's getting what and what's owed to whom is exhausting. Again, it's just not something I want to write about.<BR/><BR/>Sex scenes should be fun! At least in some way. Heh heh.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Lol, Sylvia, yay for new readers! And yeah, I don't think I've ever thought, after that particular act has been performed, that I better get down there and pay him back for it. Sure, there have been occasions where I wanted to, but in general, honestly, if I'm going down there I'm probably staying until the end.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-1382976801700039172008-07-08T09:58:00.000+00:002008-07-08T09:58:00.000+00:00OK, maybe I'm being a bit difficult here but it wo...OK, maybe I'm being a bit difficult here but it would not occur to me that receiving oral pleasure from my partner (or date!) means that I must reciprocate on the spot. In fact, I'd be absolutely upset at that implication from a partner or a friend. <BR/><BR/>NSFW: Last night he performed oral sex on me. Some time in the next week, I'm sure there'll be some moment when I decide I'd rather be on my knees. But I don't get the turn-taking thing so much.<BR/><BR/>(Note: I didn't read the spoiler. Some random person received my amazon order so you'll be pleased to find out you might have accidentally landed a new reader. It's taken me this long to get the confusion sorted out and the order re-shipped)Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05925593802209715440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-83307639943551547972008-07-08T01:53:00.000+00:002008-07-08T01:53:00.000+00:00Oh, I have to agree with that LKH comment. The an...Oh, I have to agree with that LKH comment. The annoying thing about her sex to plot ratio isn't the amount of sex and partners she has, but the incessant dialog about everyone getting their share-- of love, of orgasm, of what they want, of control... Bleh. The scorecard factor kills the sense of joy that should be there. Also the "I have sex a lot and I like it but I really have a legitimate reason because people will die if I don't" angle is old old old...<BR/><BR/>December, your sexy scenes are about it being fun. Kudos on that one!writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-54191647346122466582008-07-07T21:36:00.000+00:002008-07-07T21:36:00.000+00:00LOL I agree, almost exactly. Oral for women is lik...LOL I agree, almost exactly. Oral for women is like foreplay. Oral for men may be all they get and end the sex "scene". Perhaps women aren't really that reluctant because of other reasons so much as because they know if they go there that'll be that and then there's a chance that it'll be them and their trusty bullet all alone. Sure not all men are like that (aren't we lucky when we get one who isn't?) but the nature of the beasts (male vs female) means that what is a turn on for one is an end point for another. That must be maneuvered if both are feeling particularly greedy so that both are left satisfied. In a sex scene both should be satisfied, where as in real life the chances of there being a round two (even if the next day or later) are larger. In fiction there might be a break up, or monsters capturing the couple... you know... THE PLOT so unless the point is to tease the reader (versus character/relationship building) then a sex scene should be satisfying, which doesn't always mean everyone gets a turn. (This isn't the Anita Blake ride after all.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-59291254512938352872008-07-07T18:40:00.000+00:002008-07-07T18:40:00.000+00:00thx, but not your fault... i think i have a total ...thx, but not your fault... i think i have a total of four in that order...<BR/><BR/>and yeah, can't blame you for shying away from the violence, though there COULD come a time it has to be written about, but not in fiction<BR/><BR/>i have a few friends who were brutalized in that way<BR/><BR/>they have yet to recover fully, 11 and 20 years ago... nor will they, ever :(laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-8644858043446605262008-07-07T18:07:00.000+00:002008-07-07T18:07:00.000+00:00Hee, Written, "hummer" is so insoucient. I like it...Hee, Written, "hummer" is so insoucient. I like it too, but I've never actually used it. Hmm. (heh heh.)<BR/><BR/><BR/>Right, Robyn! Variety is the spice of life. I like the idea of a couple having stuff left to explore, you know?<BR/>And thanks. :-)<BR/><BR/><BR/>*spittake* Cream on the cake!<BR/>Yeah, that bugs me too! Why does everything have to be done every time? Doesn't that get boring? It's like choreography or something, you know? What's the fun in that, really. And yeah, we should be able to see things change, see them become more comfortable and more daring both.<BR/>Piston. Tee hee.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Wow, laughingwolf, yeah, I guess so. I'm sorry! And yes, rape...ugh. Never written it. Written an attempted and have plans for another which I really hope I get to write (not in the Demons books)...but I haven't written actual rape and I don't ever want to.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Lol on "competitive event", Kerry. And yeah, I've had a couple of comments on livejournal about that exact thing--if you're keeping track like that, what does it say about the relationship? If you feel like you HAVE to reciprocate, what does that say about the relationship? And isn't a man who gives because he expects to get in return just being a selfish prick? I certainly don't do certain things in order to have them done to me, and I would hope my husband doesn't either (blush). I would never dream of writing a hero in a book who was a selfish lover. That's not heroic.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-53365334446385132212008-07-07T17:45:00.000+00:002008-07-07T17:45:00.000+00:00I'm got stuck at the notion that all things sexual...I'm got stuck at the notion that all things sexual are expected to be 100% reciprocal every time. What's the reasoning--"I'll do this only with the understanding that you're going to do that to <I>pay me back</I>"? That's selfishness masquerading as generosity, and I don't think that's sexy at all, in fiction or in real life.<BR/><BR/>Oddly enough, discussions like that make me think more about real-life relationships than the book being discussed (couldn't be PD, which was all win), and the whole sexual scorekeeping concept is dysfunctional enough to make me feel sorry for anyone involved in that relationship. <BR/><BR/>Who knew lip service was a competitive event?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-7477036141041910942008-07-07T17:26:00.000+00:002008-07-07T17:26:00.000+00:00ordered from amazon.ca, weeks ago, dee... maybe sl...ordered from amazon.ca, weeks ago, dee... maybe slow cuz they have other books with yours?<BR/><BR/>lol @ kirsten, so right on the piston metaphor ;)<BR/><BR/>and yes, most sex scenes are about relationships... other than rape, but then, that's about powerlaughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-12431407536817828552008-07-07T17:14:00.000+00:002008-07-07T17:14:00.000+00:00So while a blow job might be simply icing on the c...<I>So while a blow job might be simply icing on the cake (was that a bad image to use?)</I><BR/><BR/>Nah. Bad image would have been "cream on the cake".<BR/><BR/><I>sex shouldn't need to be egalitarian.</I><BR/><BR/>Hee, you are my hero, D.<BR/><BR/><I>You know what? Maybe I'll do my summer series on writing sex scenes. That sounds really fun, actually. Hmm.</I><BR/><BR/>Please do! <BR/><BR/>I prefer the term head to blow job or hummer (which are both silly, IMO), but for my writing they're all anachronistic, so I'm kinda stuck with fellatio. <BR/><BR/>And yeah, it's no good to just stick the act in there out of a sense of obligation or reader expectation. I will go so far as to say my m/m couple do that a great deal more than my m/f couples, for obvious reasons of course, but also because the dynamics of the relationship feel very different. <BR/><BR/>Nothing gets me madder than to be reading a romance (or even an erotic romance) only to discover every sex scene is basically the same. How does that reflect a changing relationship? <BR/><BR/>And I think Seeley's point about the mechanics of BJs is bang-on. That much *ahem* piston action can't help but be evocative of internal combustion engines.kirsten saellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02778076783406073225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-49956315005382550472008-07-07T16:23:00.000+00:002008-07-07T16:23:00.000+00:00A sex scene shouldn't be just about the sex. It sh...<I>A sex scene shouldn't be just about the sex. It should be about the relationship.</I><BR/><BR/>And this is why I have such a crush on you. There are as many reasons to have sex as there are ways to have sex. I love the By God I Will Have Her factor, where it's desperate and frantic; when it's gentle and lovely and more about affection than gratification; and when one partner simply says, "Lay back. This one's about you," even though you know he/she is enjoying the power as much as the giving. I find them all hot. <BR/><BR/>And Personal Demons was made of awesome.Robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13857307804942257484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-36910314011392576062008-07-07T16:15:00.000+00:002008-07-07T16:15:00.000+00:00I will read this as opposed to skimming quickly wh...I will read this as opposed to skimming quickly when I am home from work, lol. However, I agree, the bj term is very crude. I rather like the term "hummer" however. And referencing the car in the same sentence? Priceless! Been dying to try doing so at some point, especially since I find the H's all so pointlessly overcompensatory, yannow?writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-9279828998520185762008-07-07T15:58:00.000+00:002008-07-07T15:58:00.000+00:00And that's another important element, Seeley; the ...And that's another important element, Seeley; the fact is, that even women who enjoy doing it don't necessarily want to read about it all the time. As much as I love and adore male readers and men in general, I write my sex scenes with women in mind.<BR/><BR/>Laughingwolf, two week? Where did you order it from (if you don't mind my asking)? Sheesh!<BR/>Lol like I said, it's really, sincerely not my intent here to rake a reader over the coals, not at all. It just got me thinking about why I write these scenes the way I do, and how I decide what does and does not go into them.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Right, Charles. It just felt like too much for their first time; it didn't need to be a full-blown acrobatic orgy.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-76430200103348933192008-07-07T15:44:00.000+00:002008-07-07T15:44:00.000+00:00Hum, if the tone is meant to be romantic or relati...Hum, if the tone is meant to be romantic or relationship focused then I think that "generally" coitus is better. At least at the beginning of a relationship. After it's clear that the two people are emotionally linked then oral sex could add a very hot element, from either male or female, or both, sides. But if the first sexual act is oral sex then that seems a bit more pornoriphic to me.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-91457359740108301052008-07-07T15:28:00.000+00:002008-07-07T15:28:00.000+00:00still awaiting delivery of pd [at least two more w...still awaiting delivery of pd [at least two more weeks, i'm told], so no comment on the book<BR/><BR/>but i agree with your observation, and bernita and seeley's... <BR/><BR/>if it's YOUR book/scene, it has to be written YOUR way, to hell with the armchair quarterbacks, trying to second guess your motives, they can write their own books/scenes!laughingwolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873675614347328116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-43464042645838487012008-07-07T15:11:00.000+00:002008-07-07T15:11:00.000+00:00Well, I gotta say that head (not sexy either is it...Well, I gotta say that head (not sexy either is it?) never crossed my mind in that scene. I agree with bernardl that you balanced the sexual element in there nicely with the other elements. <BR/><BR/>I can't actually recall a book I've read recently with a fellatio (yup, silly word) scene. I wonder if it's because erotic romance is aimed at women, some of whom I know fantasize about never having to do it. I have a scene with it, heroine initiated, that does explore an emotional side of things, but it is difficult to deal with the mechanics and not feel like I'm writing a letter to Penthouse Forum. <BR/><BR/>And yet, writing the inverse of that equation doesn't seem to generate the same mechanical feel. <BR/><BR/>hm.Seeley deBornhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02692166883821777947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-6654486084728807902008-07-07T14:02:00.000+00:002008-07-07T14:02:00.000+00:00Thanks, Bernard! That's what I thought too. It did...Thanks, Bernard! That's what I thought too. It didn't need to get too acrobatic; it's not that sort of story.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-12527494133588839782008-07-07T13:02:00.000+00:002008-07-07T13:02:00.000+00:00If we are speaking of Personal Demons, D, I don't ...If we are speaking of Personal Demons, D, I don't think it matters. It was a good story, not a platform for sexual endeavors. I thought it had a perfectly adequate amount of sexual content, which did not detract from the story.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-54538039561282165112008-07-07T11:43:00.000+00:002008-07-07T11:43:00.000+00:00I know! It's actually that term that led me to put...I know! It's actually that term that led me to put the warnings on this post. I guess I could have said "fellatio" but that just sounds kind of silly, to me anyway. There really aren't any good terms for either, are there? Overblown or crude seem to be our only options.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-275902081347514172008-07-07T11:31:00.000+00:002008-07-07T11:31:00.000+00:00Um...I think your reasoning is sound.I do wish the...Um...I think your reasoning is sound.<BR/>I do wish the terms, like "blow job" were not so...what's the word?...crude? sexless? lacking in sensuality?Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.com