tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post3188968240952995447..comments2023-09-23T12:13:10.019+00:00Comments on December Quinn, Erotic Romance<br>Stacia Kane, Sexy Urban Fantasy: Exclamation Point--a revised sceneStaciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-61461001915149944902008-09-20T14:02:00.000+00:002008-09-20T14:02:00.000+00:00The eyes and tears in the first section stopped me...The eyes and tears in the first section stopped me, and not in a good way. ‘They stared into each other’s souls’ is a cliché I can get by if it pops up in the middle of a paragraph. Set up on its own, it leaps out at me, and not in a good way. ‘His hands were all over her’ – this type of telling shows up often throughout. The rewrite did increase the urgency of the scene a bit, but it seemed flat to me still.BernardLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09722619048888613647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-37738413794086769492008-09-19T15:20:00.000+00:002008-09-19T15:20:00.000+00:00Definitely an effective scene.Definitely an effective scene.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19623437.post-73781053281549700372008-09-19T15:17:00.000+00:002008-09-19T15:17:00.000+00:00Wow. What a heated scene. I'm fanning at work. Goo...Wow. What a heated scene. I'm fanning at work. Good job, December. :-)Tyhitia Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14070000168178880911noreply@blogger.com