Friday, June 15, 2007

Life intrudes

Yeah, I know. I was supposed to come back on Wednesday and post but I didn't get to. And yesterday I spent the day doing one of three things:

1. Humoring the Faerie when she insisted on sitting in my lap;

2. Baing peanut butter cakes (I promise I'll put the recipe on the Overflow blog this weekend);

3. Hunting for 1300 words of a story that somehow disappeared or got saved in a temporary file or I-don't-know-the-fuck-what, but it wasn't at the end of the story like it was supposed to be. GAHR!! Bleh. Not fun.

Yes, Mercury Retorgrade is upon us again. I know in a lot of ways astrology is a bunch of shit. I check my horoscope at Astrology Zone every month. I even read my rising sign's forecast, too. But it's almost never accurate. I was supposed to be having a great, lucky, and wonderful month; instead...

Well, instead I feel a little shitty. I feel isolated and like people are whispering about me or avoiding me. I feel like people are ascribing motives or thoughts to me that aren't true; that they think nefarious things.

Part of it is probably the retrograde. As I said, I don't necessarily believe in astrology as a way to forecast events but I do know that every once in a while I feel this way, I get that creeping dread running its cold little snail-trails up my spine, and almost inevitably it's time for a retrograde.

Is anyone else feeling isolated these days?

Part of it is the same old thing, being not only an outsider from a different country but being an outsider in a small rural town. Being home alone with a little one all day and weekends are more of the same except there's a husband around too.

Part of it may be the impending visit of my stepdaughter, who is a good kid but still not mine, so when she's here it feels like my house isn't mine either. Like I have to always be on my guard, because there are strange eyes watching.

I'm actually fine; I know this post seems a little down and depressing (sorry) but I'm actually just trying to explore what sort of effects the greater environment still has on us. The planets and the cycles of the moon; do you write better when the moon is full, or new, or does it matter at all? Do you notice the retrograde? I find I often have a hard time writing hot scenes when Merc is retro. Plot points seem to jumble in my head; scenes must be discarded.

This one lasts until the 14th of July, I believe.

And I'll be blogging over at Deliciously Naughty later about villains. :-) So that will be more fun.


Bernita said...

Hmmm, never thought to blame my glitches and megrims on the progression of the planets. It's an idea, since usually, I blame my unworthy self and I'm tired of that.
You can add the outsider/insider effects that exist in the writing world too.

Sonya said...

Oh, drat. Now that I know about the Mercury retrograde, it will affect my life by osmosis! LOL

It does seem to snag things up a bit, even if one isn't aware what's going on up there. I've been feeling isolated too (yeah, I know, then why'd I quit blogging...) but it's more than that. The world just seems a little more empty than usual lately.

Sigh. I hope you're doing well, December. :-)

BernardL said...

Losing 1300 words would probably put me into retrograde for about a month, and I wouldn't need the planets to reposition themselves to seal the deal. :) I am a Taurus, and a cement-head. According to my wife, I'm that way 24/7, so the planets probably don't affect me much. :)
Writing helps just about any mood for me.

December/Stacia said...

Lol exactly Bernita. I do blame myself for pretty much everything, but I notice the self-blame kicks it up at retro time.

That's exactly how it feels, Sonya. A little more empty. You can always email me. :-)

It helps my moods too, Bernard, but I'm not feeling particularly motivated today. I love editing but hate having to completely re-write stuff I already wrote because it was eaten by the ether, you know? :-)

kis said...

I usually blame the husband's ex-wife for everything. You'd be amazed how easy she's made it for me to do that over the years. On Wednesday, she's flying her sixteen-year-old up here from California. She got the flight during a seat sale, and saved about 90 bucks. But the plane lands at midnight. In an airport that's a seven hour drive from my house. And guess who gets to fetch the lad? At midnight. And drive him back here for seven hours. In the middle of the freaking night.

I know how you feel about rewriting stuff. I once did ten pages--a hugely gory and tragic death scene of one of my favorite characters. Very emotional. I was crying as I wrote it. Then just as I'm wiping my eyes, the cursor hovering over the save icon, my two-year-old comes up and turns my computer off. It was just lucky I was so emotionally drained that I didn't have the energy to wring his cute little neck.

Mercury retrograde--I dunno about all that astrology stuff. Although I certainly seem to be doing my share of mixing up dates and forgetting important things...(cut to a tableau of my stepson's skeleton covered in cobwebs on a bench at the airport)

littlebirdblue said...

...being an outsider in a small rural town.

Dude; that's it, right there. Get out, if you can. Get urban.

Karen Erickson said...

I know the feeling about stay at home mom with kids. I have three - some days I want to lose my mind. Right now I'm okay but a couple of days ago I wanted to flush my kids down the toilet.

I know that's not nice to say but true! I love my kids but jeez...

And I'm sorry you lost 1300 words. That sucks - hope you found 'em.

Anonymous said...

We must be on the same cycle... I've felt absolutely uninspired for the past few weeks. I've felt isolated and alone too, even thought the hubby has been lovey and even bought me flowers the other day. I even had company Wednesday and as soon as they left I felt as if I hadn't a friend in the world. Mercury again eh?

Anonymous said...

I've totally lost the sense of isolation since we moved into the city. Now, there are too many distractions.

Sorry about the lost words. I'm sure you'll find them one way or another.

I never know Mercury is retro until someone tells me it is.

December/Stacia said...

Lol kis, I know *exactly* what you're talking about. The hubs is right now on his way to pick up the sd, he's going to be gone all night because her flight lands at 6 am and the airport is so far away.
Although it's not seven hours, yeesh!
Oh man...I don't think I ever would have gotten over that death scene loss. I lost a great final sex scene once, a menage scene so it was like 4k words. That sucked. But at least it was replaceable fairly easily.
Lol at the airport tableau.

Oh, LBB, I'm dying to, you have no idea. It's odd how living in cities for so long changes you. I even almost miss thumping bass music driving by--hey it's better than some of the bad-movie-soundtrack crap some of these people blast.

Oh, Karen, three of them! Ack! I don't know how you do it, and I know all about those flush-'em days.
Nope, didn't find em, managed to replace them. Sigh.
Thanks for the comment!

December/Stacia said...

What is it with us, Michele? My hubby's been as affectionate as anything but I've felt the same. Just blah. Stupid retrograde.

Lucky Seeley, getting into the city. Sigh. Are there stores there, real stores that are open past 5:30?

Sam said...

Mercury in retrograde??
*Shrieks and dives under the couch.*
Now THAT explains it!

Isabella Snow said...

Are you checking a horoscope based on just your sun sign, or the whole chart? If the first, those are never accurate unless by chance.

If the second, and it sucks, try - its the best Ive seen, and Ive seen 'em all!

Free short reports, etc, just sign up.

December/Stacia said...

Yep, Sam, totally explains it.My sd's flight was delayed by four hours yesterday. I'm not surprised.

I'll definitely try that site, Isabella! I do read my sun and rising signs, but honestly the problem is my chart is like scary balanced. One of the natal ladies I knew said she'd never seen one like it. So all of the signs kind of blend in, I guess. *shrug*
Off to look at!

Rebecca said...

I don't know much (or anything) about astrology - but I'm certainly familiar with the feeling shitty bit - hope you feel happier soon.

Arin Rhys said...

Oh, why must the planets punish us?!?!?


Don't worry, babes, it will get better. Have some chocolate!