Monday, March 17, 2008

My Man is a Playboy Man

First, I have to say again THANK YOU to everyone who congratulated me here or in various other places! Thanks especially to several agents who took the time to comment or email me--that was amazing--to Evil Editor for his email, and to Miss Snark, who literally made me cry.

I can't remember exactly what brought this conversation on. The hubs and I were watching something on tv--like we do--and the subject of porn came up, particularly about those filthy evil men who read or watch it.

See, I never cared. It's never bothered me to know my boyfriends or whatever liked porn. I mean, they're MEN. Saying men like porn is like saying Keith Richards gets high sometimes.

So I turned to the hubs and said how I didn't care if he wanted to look at nudie magazines, or whatever, and he replied: "Well, I do have a subscription to Playboy."

Would you believe, I had forgotten?

Because to me Playboy isn't even porn. The women in it are so pretty, so delicately airbrushed (yes, I know, that's a whole different topic, but I generally credit men with enough intelligence to know real women don't look like that. Let's face it, any man who expects an actual human woman to look like a Playboy woman has obviously never seen any real naked women and is a sad, sad little thing anyway.) They look like nice girls, who just happen to be naked, and oops! you caught me with that camera! Tee-hee. It doesn't even seem to me that the pictures are so arousing, really (although I'm sure they are.)

Compare that to some of the porn magazines an ex of mine used to get--real low-rent ones with names like Boobie. (Seriously. Boobie.) Boobie didn't have articles or interviews with interesting people.

Heck, I read Playboy every month when it arrives. (I usually just skim the naked ladies.) I don't always agree with the articles and editorial positions it takes, but it's always interesting. And it would never occur to me to have a problem with it.

What do you think? Ladies, do you have an issue with your men reading or watching porn? Any men want to discuss whether or not they read/watch it, and what your women think of it?

Some Beauty Notes

I am having a terrible time trying to find nail polish. Polish here is ridiculously expensive and not very good--it's very thin and chips easily. I'm having real difficulty finding good colors, too--most of it is shades of pink, and what I want is a good, deep red-brown like Chanel's Vamp. I've tried a few that look like they could be it but they're either too red or, like the one I tried last night, purpley. I don't like purpley nails. (If it's a true purple, fine.) It's very frustrating and I thought I'd share that with you all.

I did try something I like, though. For a while I've been thinking of trying out some of that mineral powder makeup. Yesterday at Boots I got a bottle of L'Oreal's True Match Minerals, and I really like it. Really nice coverage, feels very light, looks totally natural. I have had some issues with the dry skin on my forehead though. (Yes, I'm still having that problem, but it's getting better.)

So a thumbs up from me on that. Hasn't irritated my sensitive skin one bit.


Devon Ellington said...

I think there's a big difference between porn and erotica. And yes, I have a problem if a guy I'm with is into porn during our relationship. I feel it's demeaning and disrespectful to me. If the magazine in the bathroom is more interesting than I am, I'm with the wrong person! Buh-bye!

Anonymous said...

I've never been a porn or even Playboy guy. Heck, I've never even been to a strip club and never wanted to either. But I DO NOT judge men who enjoy those things.

I guess I've always liked living in reality and enjoying relationships with "real" women. By that I mean women who wouldn't sell nude pictures of themselves or get filmed screwing a total stranger.

Women are God's work of art from the inside out and should be treated with the respect that calls for. -V95

Anna J. Evans said...

Hmmm...yeah, I do have a problem with it. I don't mind if he reads erotic books, but I have issues with looking at girlie magazines for some reason.

Of course, my hubs and I are still newlyweds and he's getting PLENTY of at home action. Maybe that's why I would be pissed. I mean like, why do you want to look at naked chicks when there's lots of sexy time in our lives already?

I mean, I don't go around looking at naked men. I actually dislike looking for nudie pics for my man meat monday pics on my blog. I mean, naked man in a picture, so what? But my blog readers like it so....

Yeah, no porn for my man. But I am letting him drink while I'm pregnant, do I get good wife points for that? Lol.


Anonymous said...

The Man is targeting his fiction (remeber that stuff...Pahalniuk in tone...) to Playboy so he buys it from time to time. (Really all he wants is the R on that letterhead.) It is not porn at all. The pics are more like art photos of nudes than anything. And I love watching the Girls Next Door.

I don't care if The Man looks at pics or goes to shows. I've never understood women who freak out about strippers. The Man had stripper friends and they were all nice and thought the guys in the audience, inparticular the ones in "pervert row," were disgusting. I really see a bit of irony in that. The women who don't want their men to go to shows think the women are yucky and the women doing the shows wouldn't touch those men with a 10 foot pole.

December/Stacia said...

See, Devon, for me it's a matter of degree. If there's a point where I'm being ignored for the sake of some paper woman, then yeah it would be a BIG issue for me. But as an example, the Boobie boyfriend and I worked different work shifts for a while, and I was really much happier to have him come home and tuck himself in the bathroom with a magazine than come wake me up at 6 am when I'd only been asleep for an hour and a half! :-) The time we had together was well spent, so that stuff was fine with me--I felt like I got the best of both worlds.

V95, your wife is so lucky. Which I'm sure she knows.

Like I said, Anna, I think it has its time and place. :-) But I honestly don't think (let's be straightforward here) that the hubs is running off to "pleasure himself" with Playboy either. I think he just enjoys the mag as a whole, and if there's pretty naked girls in it, so much the better, lol.
I agree about naked men, although I have to admit, there's a reason why I particularly enjoy Ewan McGregor films...
And that's so funny, because when I was pg I used to BEG hubs to drink. Just a beer! A glass of wine! Just so I could smell it. It was almost as good as actually drinking it myself.

December/Stacia said...

See, Seeley, that's exactly what I think--they're more like art photos than anything really mean to arouse. I like to look at them--those women are lovely. I don't, like, spend ages examining them, but they're certainly attractive and not offensive.

As for strippers, that's never bothered me either. The only thing I ever had an issue with was lap dancing. That I don't like the idea of, even though there's no touching. But when the hubs has been invited to a strip bar I've encouraged him to go and to have fun and to tuck dollars into g-strings and all of those things. Again, there's a line there--I certainly wouldn't like it if he went every week--but I think the occasional night like that is fine, and I want him to enjoy himself and do "guy things"--especially when he's the only man in the family, lol. Me, our two daughters, his daughter from his previous marriage...

kirsten saell said...

Nah, it doesn't bother me at all. But then, my husband isn't only looking at pics of perfect young things with perky boobs, either. We used to watch movies together from time to time, but I've become a bit disenchanted.

I've always liked looking at women at least as much as at men, but I hate the look of implants--they just totally squick me--and you have to go back a ways before you find movies where none of the women are augmented. And those older movies tended to not care at all what the man looked like (Ron Jeremy, need I say more?), and I just can't get into looking at ugly, hairy, fat or generally nasty-looking men. That's why books are so nice--you run everything through your own personal filters and come up with mental images that (hopefully) turn you on.

Never felt threatened or jealous because my husband likes porno. He and I used to go to a stripper bar all the time to play pool. Sometimes, if the girl was pretty and had real boobs, I'd watch the show, but most often not. Best thing about pool at a stripper joint is how easy it is to keep the table. As soon as the chant of "Shower! Shower!" starts, the guys tend to lose interest in their game.

Robyn said...

I'll admit I do have a problem with it, but I think it's more about my insecurities than his interests.

Kerry Allen said...

Playboy is like the Victoria's Secret catalog with nipples. So not porn.

I've been using mineral foundation for years and will never go back to anything else. Give it a month or two, and the forehead might actually resolve (or at least improve) as a result of reduced "mystery chemical" irritation.

bettie said...

Porn? Meh. Depends on the type and how frequently it's used. And I agree with the other votes that Playboy is not porn.

Nail Polish: Here in the States, Chanel's Vamp nail polish is a sort of sparkly dark raspberry color. When I went looking for the lovely dark "Vamp" I remembered from the nineties, I was told to order "Rouge Noir" online. I did, I love it. It's the very same color that Vamp used to be.

Charles Gramlich said...

I'd like to think Lana and I make our own porn as needed. Although maybe that's TMI.

Gabriele C. said...

Difficult to say since I don't have a partner, but I don't think I'd mind as long as the material is tasteful and won't take over his life.

After all, I like to look at handsome men on my part. :)

writtenwyrdd said...

I don't have a problem with porn per se, but I have to agree it's a matter of degree. Nothing wrong with it, so long as I don't feel like proverbial chopped liver!

I used to read all that stuff when I worked in an all-night gas station during college, and the diff between the rauncy stuff and the classier stuff was that some of it was arty. And I personally prefer a guy with arty taste, lol.

As for that mineral make up, I used a version of it 25 years ago, and I wasn't impressed-- probably because back then I had no reason for foundation. Now that I'm older, though, I wouldn't mind going back to using it again.

December/Stacia said...

Lol kis. See, I kind of like (some) implants. Some of them just look odd but they don't all bother me. I just like big boobs, real or fake. So I've never been able to fault men for liking them too. :-)

I don't think you should be insecure, Robyn, and I don't think you should feel wierd about "admitting" having a problem with it either. I know quite a few women who do and everyone is entitled to their opinions/feelings about it. :-)

It is, isn't it Kerry? It's just such a nice magazine, and so interesting most of the time too.
Oooh, we'll see how it works on the big dry forehead! It's Day 2 with the mineral makeup and I'm still quite pleased, so yay!

Oooh, thanks Bettie! Now that I think of it I do recall something about them changing the color, the idiots. Why do that? And why purpley? I don't like purple.

Not TMI Charles. Kinda HOT tho. ;-)

Right, Gabriele, that's how I feel about it. I don't mind him liking to look at pretty girls, because I know when we're together he's thinking about ME.

Lol Written exactly. Arty tastes. The funny thing is, the ex with the raunchy porn and the hubs with his arty stuff? Virtually no difference as far as adventurousness. Although honestly, the ex had horrid cheap porn because it was what he could afford. You know, swap meet porn, 10 magazines for a buck. :-)

Angie said...

I don't have an issue with porn at all. Heck, some people would say we write it. [shrug] Even photos, though -- no big deal.

I think there's some confusion between "My guy is looking at porn!" and "My guy is ignoring me!" Some women seem to think they're equivalent statements, or at least that the first is completely encompassed by the second. To me, though, they're separate issues. If my husband is giving me enough attention then I don't mind at all if he wants to look at internet porn during the rest of his free time. And if he's not giving me enough attention then I don't particularly care whether the reason is porn or TV football or his bowling league or whatever.

I guess if I did have a problem with him ignoring me, I'd identify that as the problem and it'd be up to him to find more time in his day to hang out with me. Or whatever. [cough] I wouldn't particularly care if he took the time from his TV watching or music listening or porn browsing -- I want the time I consider to be "mine" and what he does with "his" time is his business.