I'm...so bo-o-ored with the hol-i-days
Are they over yet?
I really like having the girlies home, because not having to take them to school means not having to get up early, which is nice. But damn am I sick of everything else. Especially all the eating. And nobody being around. It's like a ghost town here in Blogland. No emails. Everyone's busy with their families and stuff, la de freakin da.
Okay, I'm not really that grumpy. But I am ready for the holidays to end. I think part of my grump is that I'm between projects and debating what I want to do next. Well, okay, not entirely. I owe EC a novella and I'm going to start it next week. But that shouldn't take more than two weeks or so and then I need a new project, unless Something Big happens which, let's face it, is not going to happen in a day. (I would make a resolution not to constantly think I suck and be more positive but, c'mon, what fun is that? And really, who wants that? Would anyone come here to read My Big Fat Egotistical Blog? Here's a sample, so you can tell me:
Today I put the finishing touches on what is surely the Next Big Huge Bestseller, which I am convinced agents will fall at my feet to represent. Man, I am constantly amazed by how awesomely skilled I am as a writer, not to mention being such a fabulous and witty person. Seriously. All those famous writers? They have nothing on me. I won't take anything less than a million, though, because I deserve it. Later today I'm going to admire myself in a mirror for a while and then compose a poem dedicated to my everlasting glory, which I will post here for your edifiction. You'll want to come back, as my words are not to be missed, even in iambic pentameter.
See? Sucks, right?)
The actual holiday was pretty good. Seriously, my kids? Awesome. Didn't wake us up until 9 am to open presents, and even then were happy to crawl into bed for a cuddle first. And I got a Mystery Science Theatre DVD box set, yay! Unfortunately it contained two Pod People discs instead of one Pod People and one Cave Dwellers, so it will have to be returned. Even more unfortunately we will probably have to pay Customs duties on it again when it's reshipped. But hey, it's worth it.
Also, the hubs shaved off his facial hair, which made me happy. More fun to kiss now.
What else? Um. I guess that's it, really. See why I want the holidays to end? I have been sitting on my butt watching tv and doing very little else for days now. Plus, my living room is an absolute pigsty what with all the new Little People and Playmobil toys lying around. I swear those little plastic fuckers multiply in the night like bizarre shoemaker's elves. Only instead of making shoes they make more sharp pieces of plastic with which to impale human feet.
Anyway. Now we have the drama of New Year's Eve--always fun here in the UK, where they put on incredibly strange ice-dancing displays and sing depressing hymns at New Year. Seriously, you want to party it up, get somebody in to sing "Amazing Grace". Now THAT is fun. Maybe they'll have someone come in for a rousing rendition of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald or that perennial favorite, Gloomy Sunday. (Maybe they'll get "the English Elvis", Sir Cliff Richard, in to sing it. I love that. "The English Elvis". Yeah, you know who our Elvis is? ELVIS. But that's a different post.)
So there we go. Probably my last rant of the year.
12 comments:
Loved the Elvis line, December. But then we have America's Answer to the Beatles, the Monkees. (I own every Monkees album.)
The lives us we rich and famous authors are so exciting! When I actually am rich and famous, I'll tell you all about it!
I had my moment of fame this week. Pixie Warrior made it to number three in the fantasy catagory on Readerwise.com and number 1 in their list of highest rated fantasy. That probably means I sold six copies, one to my mom, one to my sister, and the rest to my best friends.
Writing is just depressing!
"... sharp pieces of plastic with which to impale human feet."
Oh, darlin'... They got nothing on Legos (a long-ago gift from my sister-in-law, that bitch). Those fuckers burrow under the carpet to breed their hellspawn and transform the floors of your home into an untraversable minefield of barefoot misery.
I'm ready for the holidays to be over too. I'm a creature of habit, and the disruption of the norm is both unsettling and annoying.
Yes, Paca, but we had the Monkees when the Beatles were still around. :-)
Oh, Sha-el, that's awesome! No, you probably sold more than that if the list is on Readerwise. Congratulatons!
Lol, my fabulous writer life, let me show you it.
Oh, yes, Kerry, I know all about the Legos. The floor is covered with them as well. We just don't step on them as much because they're more easily visible.
I think someone needs to watch "Annie" again. C'mon, D, altogether now... The Sun'll come out tomorrow, everything... hey, you're not singing... :)
Yeah, I'm totally done with the holidays this year. The Man's aunt did a half assed job of Christmas dinner, dry turkey, stove top, and packaged gravy, then kept all the desserts for herself. No games, no fun, and everyone went home early. People bought The Boy a bunch of crap he'll never play with that I now have to find room for.
And the insurance company just wrote off our car that was rear ended while it was parked.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
SdB
Hehe, my mother made us collect all Lego not included in finished/ongoing projects and sort the wee buggers in boxes every evening. But it's acutally a good idea because it saves time when you build something and don't have to crawl under the wardrobe in search of that one little stone that makes the outer corner of a roof. :)
You've got that British winter feeling, December. I prescribe thick coats, hats, scarves and a march to the park or even a country walk, followed by lunch in a pub. It's a very effective treatment.
It ain't just a British feeling. North tip of Vancouver Island is wonderful for festive weather. It's rained 35 straight days. Last week, we had our lights on in the house ALL DAY. It was dark out at 1:30 in the afternoon. Seasonal affective disorder, anyone?
Only thing that made it bearable was having my folks here. Mom takes over the laundry, dad keeps up with the dishes, and I get to relax. Kinda. Between work and being sick as a sick dog's sick litter of sick, sick puppies, dealing with Xmas, writing and trying to make myself sit down and build a website, well, my marbles are everywhere but where they belong.
I feel like crawling on a handmade raft and escaping TO Cuba. I've got enough on my Visa and PLC to buy myself 13 all-inclusive weeks at a 4-star resort. If I don't bring my kids.
So glad the days of the Lil People are over. The only legos we have are on the Lego Star Wars video games.
But for me, Christmas ain't over. Now I have to go shopping AGAIN so my teens can use all the freaking gift cards they got. I hate malls. Hopefully I can drop them off and wait in El Chico's until they're done.
Oh man, I never want the holidays to end. I hate going back to work when now I can hang out and write or nap or just eat all day.
A boyfriend of mine from long ago was the single father of an 8-year-old Barbie fanatic. Those frigging Barbie shoes are a serious menace, I'm telling you! In the middle of the night, they hop about and make sure to stop right where unsuspecting adult feet are going to land on a midnight bathroom trip.
Try not to be too bored. I have been thinking the same thing, that everyone has disappeared for the holidays.
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