Oh blah blah blah

So it's the whatever anniversary of Princess Diana's death, and we're all supposed to be weeping and gnashing our teeth in misery because the world lost such a wonderful, sweet, kind, person.

Fie! I'm not glad she's dead, but I thought she was a dumb bitch. A woman who went on national television to talk shit about the father of her children. A mentally unstable woman who tried to manipulate and change a thousand years of tradition to suit her own ends. A woman who used people, made bad judgements, expected everyone else to feel sorry for her, and generally created her own hell.

It's a shame. I do feel bad for anyone who makes their life such a misery. But a saint? Come on! The best thing that woman ever did for herself was die before people could realize what a vacuous fame-whore she really was. The cult that's built up around her (and c'mon, she wasn't that pretty or stylish. Catherine Zeta-Jones has more flair and flatters herself better in clothing. The only reason people think Diana was so stylish is that British women in general look like overly fussy schlubs all the time. Even Diana's famous wedding dress was frumpy and unflattering, I thought) makes me ill. Dodi Fayed was a dumb ass rich kid playboy bent on star-fucking his way into the National Enquirer, and Diana wasn't much better. Am I the only one who looks at that famous interview done back in '80,'81, the one where Prince Charles said something like "Yes, I love her, whatever love means"? And everyone says what a horrible thing that was for him to say...but if you look at Diana standing next to him, she looks smug. Like she's about to go phone all those kids who were mean to her in school and shout "Nyah nyah nyah!" It's not the face of a woman in love, that's all I'm saying. If you can find the video (and with all the Diana-madness we have to endure every year at this time I'm sure you can) have a look at it again with that in mind. You'll see what I mean. (Update--I found the interview online here. It's a bit grainy, so I don't know if you'll get the full effect.)

People who knew her as a child say how she always insisted she was going to marry a Duke at least. People who knew her when she was dating Charles say she totally changed her personality in order to nab him, making him think she was a different person, one who actually liked him and shared his interests. After they married, she went out of her way to upstage him and make him look stupid whenever possible. And we're supposed to think she's a wonderful person?

Does a good mother expose her children to the kind of scrutiny and negative public attention she subjected hers to, in her media war with their father? Does a good mother fire their beloved nanny because she feels threatened by their affection for her? And then publicly accuse said nanny of aborting a pregnancy caused by the children's father? Not last time I checked. I always thought that was the type of action only a selfish, manipulative egomaniac would perform. Oh guess what, I was right.

Don't even get me started on that fucking Elton John song. I remember when she died, and for the next couple of weeks at work, the soft-rock station we were forced to listen to played that goddamn thing like twice an hour. Every hour. All day. And we had to hear celebrity-worshipping morons call in to the station too, sobbing about what a "special person" she was. Just like they thought if they ever met her, she wouldn't look right through them because they couldn't throw her expensive parties or write songs about her.

Sure, she did some good. She touched AIDS patients when nobody would. She deserves credit for that, although I've never heard of any other member of the Royal Family who refused to do the same. But her later causes were a bit facile, weren't they? As Hilary Mantel said in her novel Beyond Black (and this is from memory because I'm too lazy to go upstairs and get the book) "Campaigning against land mines isn't exactly controversial, is it? Everybody is against land mines. It's not like she took a big stand and came out against dolphins or something." Prince Charles created the Prince's Trust as a young man, an incredible charity that helps teach young people valuable skills, get starts in business (including financial aid), earn school qualifications, all kinds of things--practical things--that Diana never went near because it wasn't high profile enough. He also championed organic goods and farming methods long before they were fashionable (Diana laughed at his environmental interests). His Duchy Originals line of organic foods donates all profits to charities (including rural housing projects and international Red Cross appeals) and champions organic, earth-sustaining methods both of growing produce and raising livestock.

It won't surprise you, I'm sure, to know I'm a fan of his, and of Camilla, who I adore. C'mon, the woman introduced herself to him in the 70s with the line, "My great-grandmother was the mistress of your great-grandfather. So how about it, then?" That takes balls, my friend, a streak of banditry we would all do well to emulate. That's a woman with real style, no matter how cruel people might claim she's "not pretty enough". (I've heard she's very pretty in person, and as someone who generally looks like a moonfaced ogre in pictures but am actually okay in person, I believe it.) I'm also a monarchist and so dislike her attempts to "liven it up" or whatever. I also really like the Queen. I even have a soft spot for poor Prince Phillip, a man destined to shove his foot right into his mouth any time he gets the chance to speak.

But Diana...bleh. I didn't want her to die, but I didn't like her one little bit, either.


*I should hopefully be getting some good news very soon, and I'll post it when I do!*


princess diana